It’s as vivid in my memory as if it happened yesterday instead of the few years it has been. Not only was my son in a new state and a new school, but he was a kid in a new state, in a new school and he is dyslexic. He was having a rough time connecting with one of his teachers and it was making him miserable. See, he needs to connect with his teachers to be successful. This time was not even close to the misery he suffered during his six grade year, the year that there was no common sense to be found, the year that I pleaded with the governor’s office for help because we had no money for a lawyer to make things right for him (luckily the governor’s office came through for him), the year we not so fondly in our household call, “The Year From Hell.” Nonetheless, there we were three years later and he was again begging me not to make him go to school. He sat beside me on the couch and put his head in my lap and pleaded that I not make him go to school. What do you do? My heart ached for what he had to endure when he went to school and that he wasn’t understood while he was there.
What would you do? Well, I made him go to school and as I watched him walk to the bus stop and knew he was too far to clearly see me, I let the tears fall. He was paddling as fast and hard as he could to stay afloat in his class and I felt like he was waiting for me to throw him some sort of life preserver as I was watching him drown, but I had nothing to throw to him, I could only encourage him to not give up. We found him a tutor the next year, a tutor who knew how to work with him, but who was very expensive because of his experience. I can’t say how long we’ll be able to afford this tutor and as a matter of fact the time is approaching when we’ll probably have to divide the time between both of our children as they both have Specific Learning Disabilities, one more severe than the other.
Our story is not unique and I know our story is not unique because my husband and I have spoken with parents via email, phone or sat across from them and their stories are similar to ours. When is common sense going to creep into where our kids are concerned? That’s why my husband and I never stop pushing for change and will talk to any who will listen. We don’t represent any organization or reap any benefits for meeting and chatting with anyone, we do it because it’s what needs to be done. It’s always frustrating when you contact entities of the state, put the facts, in writing, right in front of them showing some of the programs that are in place aren’t working and they let you know that they only disperse the funds to different districts and that they don’t dictate which programs are used. Where is the common sense in that? Different programs for different districts? That’s fine, but let’s make sure that the funds that are being dispersed are at least funding successful programs.
Our children are now both in high school, so our time of feeling like we’re banging our heads against a brick wall because we have to deal in areas where common sense seems absent or pretty lean sometimes is drawing to a close, at least when it comes to this but sometimes I sit, wonder and feel sorry for the parents that are just starting this journey. Parents who are starting to scratch their heads because their intelligent child doesn’t seem to be preforming in school to their potential. It is changing because I’ve seen it changing since my children have started school and social media has become so prevalent and so much more information is available now.
My dream: someday common sense will prevail for our children and that acting on the information we already have about what works for children with specific learning disabilities becomes the norm instead of the exception.